It feels like I’m drowning,
The once perfect lens finally breaking.
Undeniably sinking to the bottom,
Pulling me down like weights I will never be free of.
As I see the surface getting further and further away,
Thoughts race through my mind.
Thoughts that have been an incurable disease for so long.
The thing that has made me invisible and unwanted.
The unwillingness to want to keep going.
What’s the point of moving forward when life continuously throws me back down?
Constantly drowning me.
Distancing myself from the world is easy because I already accepted that no one wants me.
That broken lens, that weight has become my closest friend.
That constant drowning and suffocating.
Dying over and over again is not a stranger anymore.
Tired of trying and consistently failing.
Maybe I was meant to be broken where the weight I have is supposed to be my only friend.
Where I am supposed to see life and death through this same old broken lens.
