What is one allowed to take pride in? Do we have a system of worth that someone has written down in case we all forget, to be measured against? Is there a key for this test? Or perhaps its remedial and none of it actually matters. Or maybe we make up what we decide is worthy because we have free will. Wait, maybe nothing really matters AND we have free will and decide what matters to us then show some reason to relate it to one another and find worth in our comfort between our social reinforcements. But really, standing alone and happy is one of the most powerful stances a human being can do, socially. People flock to such a person. They heed that person’s call. They might burn him or crucify her on moment of perplexment and confrontation but that name will live on in valor and fame. But that doesn’t matter at fucking all unless that person decided it did.
You can decide to put worth in whatever the bloody hell you please to. The same a tiny child sees heaven in their lego contraption as Da Vinci saw beauty in the stars that he spent years and blood and life working at, they both decided at some point in some way that it had worth. And they could decide it didn’t. Do not be fooled by emotions holding water and being silly for a bit after a decision is made against them. The chemicals in one’s brain take time to shift but cognitive dissonance is a human trait as well as human accident.
There are too many great artist, athletes, musicians, dancers, thieves, children and entrepenuers or any shade of shambaloni in the between or infinity beyond that don’t love themselves. And that, my dears, is really the fucking point. We want to make worth and art or money or heal people because we want to be able to love ourselves. In complete self loathing, one does not. They don’t even get the rest of the word nothing, no, they stay the fuck in bed and feel bad because they loathe themselves. When they define saving cancer, visiting their mother in pain, playing video games as important and worthy, THEN do they do something about it. And its arbitrary. Things do have worth but the pride we assign them change person to perspective to culture to eyeballs to so many other outlooks. We can decide what we allow ourselves to feel pride in. Whether it be loosing a battle and still fighting it or to have been part of the fight at all OR TO HAVE RUN AWAY! But, please, fight to find something that you will decide, not can but will, to be worth while. Give yourself credit and the world you create will begin to have much more love in it and success begets itself.
