When a story is read, the characters are not real because the author says they are. We relate to them because their actions and words create their image. It is a fallacy politics runs rapid with; when you say you are blue and your actions called you sparkly poke-dotted, and you’re pretty obviously poke-dotted but perhaps a liar or a fool. This works the same way with strategizing changes in your life. Deciding who you want to be is significantly more effect in changing the course of your life rather than just changing the actions. An elephant can’t tap dance as well as a fox no matter how well planned out the choreography is.
When you design a character for a book, never start with what they’re doing unless you want them lifeless with no credibility. Start with who they are, then let them walk out of your head and onto the pages. Same with your own changes. If you want a better job, a different setting, a new car, a better relationship, examine your values and the values of a person who has those things! Who would you be, answer how the feeling would cast your self on the day after the change is made and solid. Then let yourself sit and get comfy in such a place. Natural actions will arise fitting to your needs and what existence may be.
This is also highly fantastic to exercise when you find yourself to become someone or somewhere you don’t want to be. Remember your values, fill up your glass with the right stuff before you drink it down. Arguments work much better this way as do actions under anxiety.
