If we only knew the expectations we have of ourselves and others in relationships before we got into them, oh but that just wouldn’t be fun. And by fun I mean hell.
People subconsciously give others roles, reputations that they would expect of them and in particular situations. When a person strays from this, it confuses the reputation and subconscious expectation. More immediately, the now is most import so that should always win. For example if you are being a whiney pain in the ass but over all you have been a good significant other, your partner is not going to be charmed, infatuated, turned on by you. There is no faking the now, and if you can get an extension or loan its always good grace with a cough. Not fully invested. The same with work. If your duties say you only have to fix half the computers but the one over is a bosses or very integral to a current meeting, get on that. Immediacy over rules generalizations, always.
Its a normal thing, a normal problem, for a relationship to have a gap in expectations with communications and for the two people involved to be angry and confused as to where to direct or fix the issue. Until expectations are understood and related to one another, they will screw up everything because they’re always present.Sure, there are new days where you’re the new guy and you get carte blanche or in relationships you can both be so charmed and honeymooning it up that you won’t be affected by the bother but it remains longer than oxytocin lasts.
Realize the role you are expected and the moment at hand wins over past good deeds and roles. Stay on your toes not tied to an old chapter.
