We all have natural human needs and expectations. They are grown personal through our persisting decisions, opinions and nurturing. Sadly, we don’t recognize their significance until they come into play, often. It is here and now that you, that I, should decide to see what we need and expect. Otherwise we are judging people, our loved ones and ourselves and shitty coworkers as well as great coworkers, without ever knowing the criteria. That emotion is there and to be blind to it is ignorance in emotional safety and happiness in life.
Needs in a relationship are the most loud of this stage in the festival of life. When we start out in one of those fancy things, its all happiness, wondering, sunshine and possibilities. Exactly when the needs set in, I cannot be sure. However they do and the culprit is the self. Drawing from past relationships, your feelings about your parental’s relationships and the ones you admire help to note what will come of your relationship but creating the limits and expectations consciously is a better and more in-depth avenue. It requires accepting our own faults and the possibility of both or either of you(or all seven, huzzah poly) fucking this great thing up. That’s the hard part. Its gunna suck, just swallow that and move on with your pride a little dented. It probably needed the sculpting. There are several phases and parts of a relationship and we become different in a relationship than before. You only need things you allow yourself to need and nobody owes you diddlyfuck until they actively agree to such terms. Don’t start making amazing things into expected things nor should one ever believe they are being attacked or sabotaged by someone they’re with. That is the self fucking the self, trying to blame others for their own insufficiency at understanding their own issues.
Personal expectations for what once accepts and deserves are the deepest running even if they may seem superfluous. Being good to others and making people happy is still actually the individual expecting themselves to do something for themselves. Who do you think you are allowed to be and whom ought you be? This has meaning ranging from what fun you are allowed to have and what you owe the world. Work to pleasure ratio is a thing.
Personal social perspective bias exists constantly. Common social beliefs are created when people agree to them. Premises stay in place as many people actively agree upon them and their thoughts, actions, turnup all reflect these beliefs. If you expect people to make fun of you, having a role of being discredited or teased for fun then you will find that or create it in a social situation. Every individual wants to be understood and each has their own particular way of accepting that they are understood. Social circles are formed on the basis of some sort of personal expectation. If you think are the greatest thing since sliced bread, you will end up associating with people who agree with you or have similar ideas of themselves. People reject and deter from being around different opinions or actively reject it and confront it. I, personally, think I need to help people in need and find myself surrounded by people who either need help or are trying to help those in greater need than anyone can give; or that they are willing to accept. This role expectation of social circumstances is often a very self-fulfilling prophecy even if it only rejects everything that does not fulfill it, it also begets people to treat you how you treat yourself or present yourself.
Fuck all that shit, what do you want if those aren’t the boss! You can constantly change yourself and be aware of your actions. What is most important here is to realize that you cannot control other people, only the you that you are putting out there but you must respect and learn from what others see.
