One of the biggest blunders for people who need outside approval is that they have learned to not trust themselves. There is a sea of denial and confusion. It’s sadly a very normal course when bullied and human fear evolutionary response is triggered. We doubt good, we deny feeling comfortable and thus our own happiness becomes a joke or a platitude long run cold. It is key to decide you deserve to be happy because your destiny is your choice and being happy is how you be real.
It takes design and pursuit to be happy. Without a structure desired and planned one will fall into the forces looking to control, of past poor habit, of fear, and of instant gratification; none of which are good. Deciding that you want to be in charge or facilitate or learn are all great structural baby steps. Making goals of what you’d like to do creates passion, order and drive. Without giving this to your joy, it won’t happen. It is noble to be happy and seek what one desires, doing otherwise hurts the world and when applied in macro theory creates an awful world.
Creating a positive version of the self is a huge step. Knowing ones core values means deciding them. Once a human being creates a self they value then they can put that person o to action in this life and world thus improving it and them. When doubt and pains arise, these are what one needs to have so they can fall back on their strengths which direct them well.
Being critical in thought is precise but being critical ones self, life, surroundings and world must have balance. This life and our emotions are what we focus on. Human mental capacity is extremely slim compared to the grand expanse of reality. Whenever one becomes critical it is always in spirit of growth; never forget that and always redirect ones emotions and path that way after criticism.
Nobody but you can approve of you. Outside praise is only important because one has called it so, your emotions and thoughts come from your brain. Realizing judgments exist in society, family, religion, media ect is key because it helps display that we often take those judgements on as our own. This hurts us both for being a fake and foreign value as well as deterring the time and energy of loving and growing ones self.
To become and love yourself one must be present and able to change. Saying no is incredibly powerful and possibly even more important. Being here now is the ultimate move over being happy both for functionality and proficiency. The past only exists in ones mind and the future will never get here if ones not present; both have highest wish to be present. Enjoy things at hand and decide to look at the world around you to appreciate.
It is human to devalue things in a process called sensory acclimation. It is also human to attack those doing better than us as a defense. Overcoming these intrinsic hurdles takes effort but not hard just regimented and consistency. As we see those out-doing ourselves, look to learn as that is growth which begets happiness. As we grow tired of things remember that we could be dead, limbless, blind, starving, sick, brain-dead, suffering or locked up. The freedoms a person has, a normal fucking person, are incredible when looked at for existential relativity. Once one begins to appreciate, more things worth being appreciated appear and come to them. Love yourself, get started.
