Fear can destroy one from within where as the danger it represents is much less destructive from outside. The mind is capable of destroying itself where as the outside lands have little, minuscule harmful possibilities in comparison. When a person fears something but does not see it, it steers them from within without their knowledge. Each turn marks them and they are without realization they are no longer the captain but along for a ride. It is not that they won’t face it but that somehow they don’t know to face it. This is about admitting, giving up a false unearned sense of pride to come to truth. In emptiness, one is free to then and there make whatever next step they wish. Honesty is hard when one rushes through life or has a huge sense of guilt and or expectation about them. Pride is earned, not expected. There is a “You can!” not a “You should.” sense of change in these shifts from haunting pride and earnest, enthusiastic pride.
To admit one’s faults, one must know one’s faults and feel comfortable with being a failure. There is nothing greater than being honest because that is fully grasping the moment of life. Pretending to be amazing won’t help or compare with being a piece of shit in the now because it is not real. We exist, and nothing is ever greater than that. So to be totally aware and in connection with what is now is the best thing we could be. Stuck in plans or ideas of ourselves as to what we are supposed to be is irrelevant and wasting of our time.
As we have fears that haunt us is like living in denial or pretense. Pretty pictures of a world cover our eyes while we drive through our neighbor’s master bedroom. I say Im fine, you say you’re fine, and nobody minds. Until some little kid starts asking obvious questions. Then everything becomes fucked. Perhaps it takes some naiveté to see the world without presumption because to be alive without being damaged is to be more lucky than alive. So take one’s life without a plan to set everything into a safe place. Take one’s life like you go for your passion and excitement. Real life works that way and feared life works in plans to escape what one fears. If you cannot live that way its because you’re living in fear or too caught up in commitments. Being true to one’s self is much more beautiful than being nice to two or three or four or how ever many past just you.
The perceived need to be cool or great is a bigger weakness than not being cool or great. It deters from being real and castes a haze of pretense over actualities. True haunting is the fear which moves a person that they live in and with no awareness of. We must create the person we want to be in our minds and then find complete honesty to the fucker filling our shoes. Not attacking, not judgement or boastfulness but nonfiction. Simplistic honest examination is the only way to become free and it must be at a constant. Then can one start enjoying what is real instead what is pretend.
