Sex is supposed to feel liberating,
Passionate…
Showing that vulnerability.
Making love should feel like it will last for eternity.

I was young, gullible…
I fell into the trap love can have, 
Not knowing the damages that lie ahead of me.
Those damages led to so much pain;
Mentally, physically, & emotionally.

Because now that I have found purpose in this life,
More than just my blood on a knife.
Now I can finally say,
That these scars will fade and fade away.
Fool me once shame me once shame on me,
But fool me twice and now I know it was never meant to be.

PTSD, anxiety, depression, emptiness, loneliness…
These are just a few things that have to be kept away.

Suffering this PTSD alone, I gave up on myself. 
I feel the blood leave my veins and the life start to fade. 
Vaguely hearing ambulance sirens, faintly seeing lights.

She was the ringmaster. 
And our love was an act. 
Constantly pulling hearts strings I gave her. 
I played her puppet, jokester, and was the main act.