What are you in charge of and what are you reacting natural towards? The idea that one is their values and their emotional reaction is a fairly commonly believed concept. It doesn’t address that people can change their decisions and emotional character. The consistency of their decisions is therefore that person’s best defined character yet we are always allowed to deviate from our own norm.
Being able to change our feelings about something is what keeps a person emotionally young in the sense that they are free to be newly excited as opposed to unaffected because they’ve felt this before, desensitized from experience as well as wise. This create a question though. Is a person who is young at heart inconsistent emotionally, lacking validity and coherence in their sense of feelings? As we can always change our direction and decisions, it is up for grabs who we decide to make up and be on this day. It does make a rather unpredictable character if this change, the inconsistency, occurs consistently.
Grasping this concept is very useful in navigating self-loathing, defensiveness, and self-growth. Since we are always allowed to change and grow but feeling like not a whole or believable character in our own story is a bummer, existentially, the choice becomes one which requires a fuller scope. Where does one want to end up and is this moment more important than being in the flow of the previous decisions and commitments. The truth is that we are defined by a collection of all our moments put together. No one chapter completely defines a character even though many people may see a single action as a fitting facade for an individual. People are complicated because we are free. If one wants to be totally consistent then they are giving up small bits of that freedom. There are gains to being reliable, as a person, and while winging it is fun there does not have to be a complete disarray in doing both. Understanding that a person has many facets alleviates misunderstandings and irritations at ourselves over having certain inconsistencies because we have other pillars of character standing strong.
How this relates to others in relationships is fascinating. Understanding what others expect of you is elementary for functionality and rarely is this understood without direct conversation and addressing. The mystery of romance as well as the power distance in many professions keeps this in the dark as a set standard. Finding a way around those two choice climates can be dicey but can be done. Personally, I like to cut straight to the point and if they don’t like it then they don’t like me in how I function and better that be transparent so we can deal with it; but that is my decision because that’s me. If you know what one wants from you as a consistency then you can better fit their needs and you can better understand their taste and preference as a person, bosses or lovers or friends. The mystery is oft about because we as people aren’t too decisive on this type of thing so the questioning must be individualized if addressed. I can’t make a sentence as a generalization on a blog post for this.
Having a grand scheme for one’s self is a beautiful thing; lots of mad scientists, egomaniacs, noble prize winners, and tyrants alike pull it off. There will always be balance between what the world throws at a person and what a person decides themselves to be. One is never all alone of completely decided unless they’re totally isolated from everything and then what kind of a life is that? Planning for the changes in the flow of the world with one’s self is key to keeping any sort of happiness and steady keel. Bouncing back is more likely and both must be had to have any sort of comfortable grip on one’s life. Do plan ahead and that includes the plan of mayhem being a viable option.
