Nobody wants to be around or follow or hit on or listen to or buy shit from somebody who doesn’t have confidence. Or at least that’s how the concept is framed. This demonstrates a lack of depth in understanding reception, thought, and confidence. Maybe it isn’t what they want from you but what you want? The projection delivered is accepted because you do so confidently and naturally someone who is so sure of themselves can’t be wrong… though in today’s world there is so much bs in sales BECAUSE we all hear the first sentence in this paragraph so bloody often. So to start, let’s examine the qualities and spectrum that confidence has and lives on.
First, what is the opposite of confidence? It is not a lack of it, but doubt. And truly, doubt is the most nearly unattractive thing out there until it becomes desperation in which case it is revolting. So maybe it is not that people want confidence but that they don’t want doubt. Clearly, people like to know what they’re doing and where they’re going. Humans are beasts of desire, we are easily enticed and enjoy it. So to lay the groundwork clearly, creates a pleasant response. To be not doubtful in one’s demonstration of the future create a pleasant draw. Let’s say that one more time but a little differently: To give an accurate prediction makes one comfortable where as giving an unreliable prediction makes one itchy. So the beginnings of confidence can be seen more readily and proven in effect by an assurance of the future. People like to know what to expect and when a person seems unsure of themselves then they have created a forecast of variability… of danger. To woo a person, one must be a solid weatherman. Even if you’re a total asshole, being confident in that makes you predictable and pleasant for being enjoyable. But don’t be an asshole.
The reactions to confidence are important to examine to define their functionality. Branching from understanding how you create a prediction of who you are and what you can do, it must be seen that people want a prediction. Know that you are always an enigma to people until they generalize you and thus, make you something you’re not due to limiting your autonomy with their memory and crude delusions of asymmetric insight. So until you show them something, they not only don’t know, they also don’t have a care. Creating confidence in caring about yourself as a presence in your own persona’s delivery creates the known importance from your audience. The same goes with every goddamn thing else about you. People care 95% about themselves and as very open to learning about you with the most malleable of pallets. If I told you that I was going to win the race and sort of believed it when I said it… you would sort of believe me too. My own personal belief, with doubt or confidence, is measurable and transferred to you. Having more doubt or more confidence will greater the reaction and skew to whichever side your audience is given. People are bias creatures, don’t fucking bullshit. The point is that must be led because you are in fact a field completely new to them. There is not a bias unless there is your own bias in your presentation.
Lastly, confidence and doubt can be completely arbitrary. This seems counterintuitive but that’s only because humans are fucking stupid. We want to believe what we feel is real but go to any party with drugs involved and you will see a whole gaggle of morons more passionately involved in lies and fantasy than if you went to church. Both these groups FEEL amazing strong about something with nothing but one has chemicals artificially generated without experience or content to give them validation and the other has socially generated whoohoo and crowd psychology drowning reasonable thought or critical analysis. Confidence can be totally made the fuck up… and so can doubt. This is where I have made a rule called [insert my best friend’s name here]’s team. When we make up a doubt in ourselves then we lead others to believe that way and more importantly set the stage for it to become true. Since you are on you’re own bloody team, you should help yourself. The future being unwritten allows the variance to be in your favor with its possibility as soon as you want it to be. You are not lying if you say you’re sexier than you are, but making a prediction and setting the stage for it to become true. It’s not leading someone on, it’s leading yourself to the scene where you are best set for it to be true; whether that be in doubt or confidence. They are emotions and just as you can get emotionally alchemic and decide how you want to feel by imagining a situation or scene with that emotion, one can get confident by imagining something they have confidence in then switch the scene and holding the emotion. It only becomes posturing or bullshitting when one does not follow through.
