Some of the most terrible relationships turn into incredible friendships. Some great friends are town asunder by rent checks and different opinions on household cleanliness. Many people who would make amazing friends become enemies because they don’t like their shitty shitty jobs. All of this comes from a separation of understanding and a social judgement based upon unrealistic expectations. The longer a role becomes called a role that position, that word gardens up all the shit, bad memories and expectations one can see. Stop that shit! Free yourself from the words!!
A very interesting exercise is to take someone you are very close with and pretend you have never met them, pretend you and them have no relationship of past yet continue to know them. Erase your history and their history but keep honest the best they can put forth. Yet yourself stand with that person for a moment in the space between your ears… a new person exists. Try it with someone you hate, loath, resent. This is the exercise’s point. Grudges are sneaky and rarely do we realize what we hold with them.
Many lingering problems of one’s parent’s relationship stay with a person for a lifetime when they do not have to, for any good reason. This is kind of a strange re-wiring of one’s brain, exciting emotional heuristics. Roles should not hinder natural connection to a fellow person. Roles are fucking made up, people are real.
