Realizing that childish decisions are made by children is much simpler than the realization that we were all once naive and simple children. Accepting this as fact, remember stupidity says poop taste good, delivers a sanction to examining one’s own values. It is silly, to assume one made all their decisions on whom to be after they grew up and became rational, after it is bullshit to say so and that would be a crippling value to hold; so lest we forget our childish ignorance it is clearly time to double check our inner workings for the road ahead might just matter.
Fear is a delicious burger that wets one’s consumption and allows the buying of truths unsavory until measured the day after trying to squeeze out some sense of their remnants and body’s state afterwards. Why are we afraid comes from certain experiences in childhood where we learned what is right to be too dangerous to combat and when to run. Giving up has a range for everyone individually and each person has their consistent level they flee at. This flee digit was set early on. Examining when and why is extremely important as it governs the normal day to day life of you. For me, I am not afraid enough since I am reckless. I was raised to not be afraid because my brother and mother were too afraid while my father was boisterous and unrealistic. Though he may have been financially successful, in most other ways he can be measured as lacking. I decided at a young age, I must imagine, to follow my fathers bravado, as I do recall he was proud of, and it has not done me well. There are many times when I should be more responsible and reserved yet in my nature and what I value screams,”Nobody is charge of you and you can do better!” so I do some stupid things. Now there are benefits to this, it gets me past many things which hold back weaker and more easily scared off, intimidated folks; it’s also quite sexy or so Im told and that is when it succeeds. But having my father’s nature is not something I wish to repeat upon this world so I have worked to refine my own definition. That is the spirit of this whole exercise.
When one feels guilty is a cultured manner. I know a few people who couldn’t bat an eye after they almost killed someone… and they would respond,”did you die?…then shut up” and continue on with their day unbothered. Shame is a humanistic quality for it displays empathy and comes across during understanding. When one dives deeply into this emotion, past connecting with others, they will find themselves a large sack of crap with their head yelling at their feet to leave while both are emerged in said doodoo. Shame is necessary for recognizing failure in social sense and technique both only to critique and advance one’s self. When it becomes a mood, it has failed itself and is hurting the person. Guilt is a very commonly misinterpreted emotion for the values it deserves. This comes from so many experiences as a child being overblown as wonderful and unable to do wrong or as someone wronging another and that other being unattended while a child attempts human empathy only to be betrayed into an erroneous and magnificent example of ignorance and impressionability’s distance from logic. Deciding now and here why to feel guilty and what deserves guilt is a simple decision; putting it into reality means walking one’s self through painful scenarios and giving it some practice.
Who deserves your love? The gift of tenderness and appreciation is an abundance seen scarcity by ego and condescension in this day of global community and age of understanding and cultural maturity. Growing up in most elementary schools will teach a child harsher skin then is needed or appropriate for the consistent factor that scientists have observed little kids being total dicks. The pain and abuse kids exercise can be seen as a reflection of our society’s insecurity instilled by advertising campaigns that flood American citizens’ vision, infrastructure, internet and news sources. Most people are insecure and in some from of debt so it will be reflected by children as such. And if all that is poppycock, there still stands to reason that kids will teach other kids that being nice is bad because the nice kids get picked on the most while the meanest kids seem the most prominent and powerful socially. This is where who gets our love starts. Everything else, how smart, how good looking, who was kind to whom, who can do this or that for me, what color hair you have, how creative, how artistic is all an addition to a shitty system held in place by infantile or juvenile socialized fear-mongered worries. Examine your own childhood and reflect upon the possible treatment and lifestyle of one who was openly kind and embracing to everybody would have been… I wish I were wrong and I really hope you’re not lying to yourself. Allow yourself to reinstate a policy of being openly loving, it is only a scarce resource if one makes it so and limiting it makes you the lover, weaker, not the love stronger.
There are many other facets to this re-examination process of one’s self and value from their youth. I could write fifteen pages on the topic and still come up short. So I will stop now and let the first three big examples be practice and explanation for one’s own continued work and progress. Thank you
