The premises of a person on their social expectations and understandings of how a world works vary dramatically from person to person even in very close relationships. Everyone is unique is a nice bullshit line the 90’s kids were sold so their parents wouldn’t have to worry about fucking up their children. While there is not “best” social premise set or social construct design plan, they all have dynamics. And some dynamics suck, others are extremely beneficial. Here I will discuss the base ideas for what common end goals are, good grounding to create one’s more individualized responses and behavior sorting mechanisms, and how to best let one’s self see and be affected by what social behavior.
Dodging poor emotions is the opposite of accepting a poor emotion. The best way I have learned to do this is to look at an approaching or impending shit mood, visceralize it so you can feel and see the difference in yourself coming like a big cloud, then physically push it away. Tell it,”nope” and remember that you are already in a state of mind as well as have a centered place, a mentality you feel comfortable in. Allow yourself to stay in that and reject the shit mood coming, deal with the oncoming madness differently.
What we take blame and create guilt from is a great point. It gets into being intimidated, dominated, and the lack of feeling valid and important. One must always know they are important and valid, it should stem from a base statement of caring about the self because one made the self; the most important opinion of yourself is from yourself. That is a border one must make around themselves, that they always love themselves. Let it be unconditional with the understanding that behaviors can change if needed, and get solid in that belief the way you know gasoline isn’t water and that you need air to breath. Once that is established, never be intimidated. It has no benefit. Being scared is different because it means worrying about the oncoming dangers. Also, never be scared. Measure the possible dangers, admit it would be bad to yourself and that you don’t want that. Enjoy the dodge of these seemingly terrifying advents and know you’re ALWAYS good enough to dodge the possible pain. Guilt and regret are not productive emotions but demeaning emotions. They hurt us instead of mend pain or damage yet they’re held in logic by assuming hurting ourselves is right… it does nobody any fucking good. Sorrow and an apology is good to correct poor past decisions and show understanding to those hurt. Attacking ourselves is silly anger and poor down-stepping of a social hierarchy. It is to show you are now lower than those you hurt so that your ego is lower because PRESUMABLY they feel you are not as important as you are acting. A social hierarchy is both made up and ass-backwards. It only exists in one’s mind and if we act upon it yet nobody talks about it. Guilt is not a good emotion, reconciliation and understanding then comfort it. Attacking yourself that way is Hammurabi’s code, an eye for an eye and we’re both blind; that shit is outdated because it’s dumb.
Creating friendship and connecting interests is a natural presumption I personally have when I see people. Since so many social behaviors are self-fulfilling prophecies, it makes sense to start behaving this way because I want it this way, and I wasn’t always this way. My household raised me to victimize myself and assume people are judging me and out to get me. Critically analyzation of that perception displayed that it hold horrible results for me, the people involved and the possible next steps ahead of the new us. Just assume they like you, don’t get ridiculously cocky and get comfortable then earnestly find things they are interested in and learn from them. Everyone wants to be special. If you can’t find anything special about them, bring up things that you are excited about. People respond so strongly to your happiness that they may whip out a secret weapon of their own greatness.
Desperation is a key turnoff to everything! Don’t be fucking desperate! Here’s how desperation works, we have stupid expectations and then create bullshit limitations upon ourselves and try too hard then duly feel inadequate. There are eight billion people on earth, we cannot lose on this game statistically! So don’t be desperate, ever. Patterns occur because we repeat ourselves, the world is never our to get us because the world is infinitely bigger than us. Take time, find depth and worth so that one can genuinely be enthusiastic about a topic and relationship. It is allowed to see possible ones go drifting off. FOMO is a stupid thing in a world as big as ours because it is impossible to not miss out. Let it go, it is reality and there is another chance. Grabbing like a starving child gets one nowhere good, reach for something good like you deserve it because it fits. Further more, desperation works in subconscious signals to express unfitness. People in lower positions grasping at something they don’t deserve. A subtle flavor of thievery and it feels dishonest. When you believe you deserve something, it behaves itself as an genuine, honest and natural flow. People respond to those subtleties in grand, almost romantic calling. Bend your desperation over the counter and spank it that way.
Folks being moody, bitchy, over-aggressive, is always shitty. Fortunately, it is immature and never has jackdiddlyfuckshit to do with you. Perhaps you are the target of it? That is them reaching out to be randomly angry at whatever is close. If someone had a problem with you and wanted a solution then they would respectfully address you and meet your needs and your understanding to convey an idea and complaint to make change. While the choices of being sensitive to their issues or putting up one way or another with their bullshit are available ventures, the social construct of taking on their emotional baggage and feeling worse about ourselves is a horrible corollary. Do not let others make you feel like you are not good or that you are guilty. All they can actually ask for is a change in behavior and if they’re not asking then that is their dysfunction. Treating issues is important but being affected by them is also important only if you want to be an idiot and ruin yourself.
Who’s in charge, who’s offended, who’s against you, who’s mad at you and wait, none of that is permanent? Viewing a person as being in charge of you requires acceptance and application of a belief in a social hierarchy. People tell you what to do all the goddamn time. People honk at you, people don’t run you over, grocery store clerks take your money, your friends expect certain behavior of you. All interactions are actually demonstrations of communication and response. A distaste for authority is the creation of irritation with one particular brand of mingle that people have decidedly labelled as demeaning then accepted the affect of being demeaned and talked down to. Nobody is every fucking in charge of you, they’re just relating information based on their particular job. If you don’t like their job, do it for them but since you don’t like it, it probably sucks. Let them do it, don’t get bothered by the janitor and move on with your damn day. Next, people who are offended are either extremely caught up in the issue itself or you are overreacting to their statement. People are naturally 95% concerned with themselves. Judgments are lingering because we persist the nonverbal behavior correlating to that situation. Let it go, move on, do something new and different; and preferably good.
Challenges, helplessness, growth and the disintegration of fear through conflict and creating trust by establishing its grounds in a fortress of understanding. We all resent people and places. The brain tells us that we have let go of it… but no, not really. Acutely examining the pains and resentments in one’s life are required to have a balance psyche. Hilariously enough, our psyche tells us we’re over things we aren’t over. Address each negative and painful situation with the calculation of seeing the best possible outcome for you now, situationally. As you remember said event the emotion of that moment will come with. Dismiss it. Then look at it as though you were helping out someone else. See the scene like it is not yours but a story to critique. This alleviates helplessness by removing your identity from it. Acknowledge shitty things but remember they do not make up your personality; that’s why they’re called mistakes. This is growth through managing your own conflict and it is brave. Now, imagine if you ran immediate situations like this? with the same bravado and excitement of being able to overcome and best evil! It makes shitty situations the sort of thing one wants to seek out, get high off saving the world man. As long as we remember to not personalize the failure, get lost in the story where fuckups are a trend but treat them as anomalies like mistakes are BY FRIGGIN DEFINITION, and keep the best outcome in mind and malleable as a goal, then we stand on the grounds of no defeat. We stand on the lands of seeking greatness, of heroism.
Boundaries exist in normal places, like when hobo’s tell you Jesus has the swordfish you owe him… you don’t believe him nor do you respond emotionally. Certain people deserve emotional access to your insides, to your core. Most people don’t want that kind of responsibility or power over a person nor are they ready to react in kind if you demonstrate it. Being open is different than blurring lines where people are comfortable and interested in going. Being open means being available where as to jump some subject matter the same as being emotionally affected by some people is absolutely silly.
This world is full of idiots!! Is a factual thought if you believe it, because there’s at least your dumb ass. People have thousands of facets and personality traits, values, behaviors to which each individual is capable of at any moment. They shift from prepping, conversations, situations, and all that can be primed properly from what you give to them. Of course, there are many people who know less than you do in one particular field or have invested not the time you have in a field you feel important. That’s just how intelligence works. Assuming or labeling them idiots in your head can be accurate, possibly mis-sighted, and willy surely help you to create an image of the world that sucks. Assume people know things, bring up what they could be interested in and lead the conversation to a better place if the people running it cannot. That being said, there are idiots in the world. The more one thinks about them the more one becomes either depressed or a bully and those are shitty things, so let em go and release yourself from the bounds of judging others; it is a weakness in this tense.
Don’t freak out. There is no reason that freaking out is good, so don’t do it. Like the opposite of Nike. Emotional giant episodes of gnarly over-reaction are unnecessary and tell-tale of other pent-up issues that are putting pressure where it does not belong. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you either fit or you don’t; your skills and the circumstance will take place the way they should be because they are what they are. Mistakes aren’t being made and though this could be big, it’s only ever big in our head and only as big as we make it. Don’t take any of this life shit seriously, we’ll be dead soon enough and missing out worrying about it is ironically hilarious to the already dead and evil sky wizards; fuck those guys, enjoy your life now.
What if people are out to get me?!?! Being fearful, avoiding your own vulnerability, not pursuing things you want by being easily deterred and misreading signals are all symptoms of, that must be fended off to cure, personal insecurity. One of the most amazing moments when falling in love is that tick where you wonder,”fuck, what if all my worries and failures come back to get me and are my true nature!? What if she sees all this? What if Im lying to her and don’t even know it cause I’m that terrible?!” and then you tell that doubt to go away because your future is unwritten until you act it out. People are not out to get anyone that they like. So don’t be a piece of shit, be kind to others and act accordingly to respect and with integrity. You’ll be fine. Address your vulnerability with growth in mind. Whatever you’re staring at will create the emotional tone that you exercise. Life is not that serious, you will be dead soon and letting yourself stress over anything brings it faster
Fixedness is the worst trait a mind can have, it is how our minds get old and match our bodies. Fixedness is seeing the world in only one way and not allowing new things to come to mind or create new understandings. Being mentally limber is the key to all greatness as the universe is always bigger than us and the only shit we know is what we’ve put together so far; we’re just upright monkeys fucking around on a rock flying through space, we don’t know shit. Always allow people and physics and religion and literature to show you something new. In that premise there is ultimate excitement and humble precision for the desire to understand.
From leaving fixedness, treat everyone as a new individual experience with the old adages allowed to help but not to be in control. People want to be allowed the space to be themselves and love to be treated like they are important. It is a natural human thing to want to be loved and validated for who you are. When posed the question, it becomes a normal flow for a person to respond with their full self. That being the question you pose to yourself and behave accordingly then allow them, not demand or request in anyway other than nonverbally, to answer. This gets into being wanted. There are so many parts of who you are as a person and millions of people available to interact with, right the fuck now! Do not fake yourself and do not go where you aren’t wanted; in no way do I mean don’t watch out, no, actually look for. There is somewhere which wants exactly the kick you are running on right now. Organize your thoughts ad knowledge of the social world and go to the best fit place for you. Always be wanted and do not take offense or criticism for being off topic, it simply means you are out of place. Allow others to have their different space and chill with them, but speak and act in a place where you will be well-received. Changing one’s actions is fine, but not dandy, yet it does not serve to the fluid timeline of a soul to keep doing so in place of finding a natural fit audience and stage.
After most of this is understood and one’s own frontier of construction set out upon, confusion at the bulk of things can lead to disarray and mishap. So to poorly conclude but step forward well, don’t worry, love yourself, seek to understand and appreciate others, now create something that excite and involve great people.
ps be great peoples.
