Building defensiveness is a pretty common thing. Realizing one is run by this is either impossible or completely refreshing after being completely destructive. At the base of a person’s actions and thoughts is not just their version of self and others but an emotional state and a mechanism of motivation. Many people can be highly functional members of society with a horrible center of violence and worthlessness. This makes them work harder but it will never bring peace as it is the thing which must be fought and beat.
The idea is that when one is scared and needy, they move quickly. Whilst true, it leads an untrue life with an untrue soul no matter the accolades and adventures. Creating a state of peace within ones self requires soul searching and answering doubts then eating ones fears until their real self is full. Whatever makes doubt and worry, steer towards that; question it.
The worth of any thing is only what one gives it. Societal and family norms are very deep as are cultural and spiritual ones. But each are totally fucking arbitrary until the person decides there is bad or good. Nothing really matters until one creates or takes their fulcrum and thus ranks things. So, a person is only truly free when a point and ranking system has been designed and fully understood then set into action all with their own free will and complete precise understanding. This may sound exhausting but so is giving a fuck about yourself.
The need to question things is the desire to understand life. A full speed person only exists in complete understanding of their own life however that does not mean that only knowing these things makes a full life. The acceptance and grasp of this reality and enjoying each step as worthwhile and perfect is a full life. We can die at any moment, humans are fragile meat bags existing in a world where things only live by eating one another and the planet itself is highly volatile where as is meat bags have fickle and specific settings we can exist in. Perfect is a truly fucking stupid notion without that recognized.
Creating a horde of unanswerable questions and greater than merits of worth is a great way to scare someone into working harder. Unfortunately it blinds perception and rushes actions. As already stated, it’s not a real life but it’s also a horrible center and untrue one. Why do anything at all!? Is it to create beauty, to have fun, to make love, to explore? These only seem fickle to those thriving and bred of fear. The balance exists from holding ones ground away from destruction and being able to freely move towards worth for happiness and want. Lack is a poisonous fuel. Desire is pure even if applying it is more difficult.
The complexity and precision of an idea makes it far more delicious than the strength and dominance. Recognizing the difference in small and petty victories and gratifications from meaningful movements is key to growing into a real being. Anger is never the center. Allowing ones self to enjoy the now as perfect and letting go of some silly quick twitch for new is how we become present. Instant gratification is pretty much always bad and the overall grandeur of a venture is not restricted or rated by insecurities and speed. Go for the bigger better thing and view the work as being alive and counting. Mark the instant gratifications dropped as dodged obstacles and childish errors.
The mechanism has been defined but what of the emotional state which loves instead of destroys? Learners will always be more wealthy than fighters. That excitement which was present to all at a certain point of early youth has gone from earnest to vanished. A totally human fuel though, it’s intrinsic and never leaves though perhaps dusty. A state of natural peace beneath and above the fighting which has been learned and forced does exist at a constant. Believe that to be truth for without outside influence or approval. Those who would scoff need be inspired not told not cured but moved. Be the symphony, not a beggar or drill sergeant. To learn and observe in absolute and utmost precision and bright- eyed eagerness is the center. To love it and hold it as mother holds child is the theme.
Because what is a threat when good and evil don’t exist? Always will a plan be nice and errors be available then unwanted. Since the plan must be of your own design and education seeking be the center, a threat is simply a new step. Planning around this could have happened and so could five million other things but then you’d be imprisoned at the drawing board instead of moving. Accepting your errors is a balance too. They are always education,yes. Then there will be a few good and reasonable questions to always ask to avoid repeating the goddamn first grade. Hard is not part of this but tedious and second nature is its progression.
Again, this will become integrated ones center and as always ask the best questions and create the best life.
What do you want, what will that require and change? What needs to be for that to exist? Where can that be gotten and learned about? Where are you now? What do you have? What keeps you moving towards this? What are your limitations? What could get in the way? How can this be fun? What can be learned and how can you retain that best? Where does this want fit and mix with what you already have and know?
