The human need to be validated is a uniform normal thing. We aspires to feel worth as who we are. Seeking this validation outside one’s self occurs when a person feeds their insecurity instead of examining their core beliefs and feelings. To have anyone else’s approval feel validating means you have given that right to them. People are 95% concerned with themselves, so the idea that anyone else can make you feel OK, while stupid in itself, requires them to be paying close attention. Friends may do this but again, you’re giving them the power only you truly posses; they’re not in control of the chemicals in your skull sponge.
Self-actualization occurs within the self and no-where else even if a person has outsourced that need. Being arrogant is the faking of that worth in hopes others will be impressed and believe the show. Unfortunately for good actors and liars, there will never be a worth outside answering to one’s self that actually fulfills the desired needs. Arrogance is an unrealistic confidence in a personal strength. Having that confidence can only occur when reality matches one’s beliefs; fake it til you make it works if its part of the mechanism, not an act to convince others to make one feel worthy and important.
A need to be bigger than others is an extremely strong motive for growth. The natural need to survive is passionate and deep so when called upon it will be a great after burner to achieve. However, when that becomes a natural state of a person it is a state of insecurity. Being defined as being better than others is an incredibly unhealthy high as the natural state of a person is one of lack. Designing the need to be great and have that as your high is the beautiful alternative. Making it a profession of being awesome is a wondrous and fabulous thing. Dancing that line where one loves themselves without the achievement while still pursuing it all the same is want above need and is the actualization of a full human being.
Loving yourself for just existing is worthwhile. Striving to be better and improve the self is something of an oxymoron where as trying to enjoy the world at its finest and most delicious of delights is the better deal. Finding your own truth and then chasing that as it means the world outside you singing with the one inside is the real proof of worth. Never find yourself guilty until you have judged yourself outside of others. Regardless of the outside passions and perverse excitements, the only real answer of worth lies inside your own approval.
