How to deal with failure

Change the perspective and definition. What qualifies as failure is relative to what expectations a person upholds. More often a person actually learns something than they really fail but they can give up halfway through. No great chemical experiment had zero mistakes, they were simply corrected and moved past. We would not have electricity it perfection was the only acceptable option. Be realistically optimistic and consider the expectations compared with how one is seeking them. To stop short is to seek like a timid fearful mouse and to have high expectations is to miss the whole walk of life going on. Expectations must be adjusted if they’re unrealistic which means learning from the not success and redefining what failure actually means; Speed bumps, not stop signs.

It is progress, always. Failing once means you have found a new way to not do something and is advancing. That kind of thinking is advancing in itself because it confronts the issues of failing, the worst possible scenario, and makes it into something productive. One cannot do perfect without being good then better then great and those are impossible without the possibility of fucking up. Trying involves the possibility of failure which means you are moving forward. The trick is to not stop and bitch about it but to see, you worked at it, and keep moving.

Being grateful is one of the strongest emotions a human being can exert. If you can be grateful for the chance to try and to learn ,then even further, to realize you always have more chances to be great at something after this gifted lesson, then you create the ground of no defeat. You create a mental construct whose atmosphere is excitement, bliss, and critical thinking instead of judgment and depression.

Don’t look for approval or judgment, it’s not there and nobody cares; if they do, they’re not you and that’s good cause they’re dickfaces. Only your approval of you actually counts in the end. You are the only one who can decide if you are approved and good enough because judgments are subjective and opinions are like assholes. It is up to you in the entire expanse of relativity and imagination to decide that you’re good enough.

Don’t dwell on bullshit. The winningest coach in football, Don Shula, had a 24 hour rule where you get to feel shitty or great for winning or losing and after that you let it go. I have a similar but different definitive approach. I say that when it happens, dismiss it with the premiss that you will deal with it but not right now. Because in the moment of failure, some fire is totally going out of control and even if you burned your favorite lady’s shirt the house is still in danger. When you do get to that emotion, like Shula, let yourself get deep in it and immerse yourself in that feeling completely. It is incredibly important to accept, own, and feel all of an emotion. And then let it go, it’s fucking spent and standing any longer is missing out on life.

Learning about it to move on. Sometimes we try to do the impossible and we smash our car because we have not slept in the between of skydiving, research paper publishing, crazy sex-capades, scaling buildings, and dance lessons. It is part of succeeding to learn what the dimensions of the world are then to stop running headfirst into a brick wall. Being analytical about a problem makes you intelligent and separates you from it, releases you from that moment.

Do not personalize failure. Shit happens to everyone and it defines no one until they decide to put it and nothing else on their resume`, dating site profile, and gamertag. To call yourself that is a decision that nobody worth listening to will put upon you. Everyone fucks up, too many stories of greats exist to even begin but it’s being determined PAST those fuck ups and resilient in your definition of being a great person through the shit and up again for the good fight that makes a person actual quality.

Look for a different way to solve the problem instead of stare at one mishap. Innovation and creativity are the highest form of thinking where repetition and stagnation are terribly far lower. You are always in control of what you are looking at. That means if you changing your angle and bouncing around the function used in the past are completely legitimate freedoms of yours. That will help and that will be fun if you let yourself see it that way. Creating an atmosphere of play and enjoyment rather than one of stress and disappointment is something totally up to a person and habitualized, not right or wrong but learned as a reflex. Pick your best poison

Chose the best emotional path for your future. This one thing is never a whole story, it is only ever one part of it. The tale goes on and you’ll still be around. So how you chose to frame this situation will create the emotional setting for your next adventure. The world is never trying to fuck you over but it may be asking ,”can you jump this high?”. Sometimes you cannot make that bound… right now. Timeliness is brilliant because right now success is fleeting and seems all important when you’re lost in a moment. The grand scheme and story have more pages and patience. And if you cannot do it, then maybe this is rising action to an even bigger scene in a grand play! Nobody likes a story where everything is easy, nah! Those stories suck. Finding the harder challenge, improving, growth, getting something new that wasn’t doable before! Now that is a cool story.