Defining defensiveness as important or fun is why it continues. As a persons feels insecure the subconscious mind jumps to defend that lack, that weakness. This action not being a conscious decision creates repetition more fluid as critique is absent from it being below radar. One finds themselves easily casting poor insecure defensive habits as intrinsic rather than learned. Object to this bullshit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86S_p-Wei0c
The way a person views their past dictates how they feel about the future and what can be expected. The human narrative one has with themselves is how a bad story won’t let good characters go and why shitty people in fun stories keep getting great things. They expect and seek what they know. Cognitive behavioral theory states that at the center of the cycle of behavior influencing thoughts influencing feelings and vice-versa are three things: how you see yourself, others, and the future. These two theories, narrative theory and CBT, work together in a psyche. Recreating ones version of themselves and what they expect from the future and others is brilliant. Doing so completely out of whack with the story one tells their life to be, makes for a strange episode instead of a turn in the series.
Allowing these three core things( definition of self,others, and future) the founded momentum of rising action will give them strength against poor habits and past trauma. Without this moment and a mild plot hole, change is precarious and easily dismissed. I suggest allowing your new version of self, others, and the future a sort of mental montage and dub this vision and momentum a correction onto poor old views. So even though you may have just broke your leg and lost all your money, that’s not a helpful rising action compared to just getting a promotion and winning a grand design contest. Give yourself too much credit so as to bolster your mentality and available thoughts through the literal bullshit in front of you. It only sounds crazy because you think you know way more than you do and accepting your perspective is biased and not the only way to see, hurts your silly human ego.
Vanquishing one’s poor habits is never enough as they are habits and will return without replacement and regiment. This means inventing a different approach and creating some solid ground work for it to exist on then fueling it to keep moving. Any new trick will do in the moment but for it to stay one needs to see this action as fitting to their character and value. Deciding this fits is essential. Creating the reason why you’re doing it, keeps it going. So also create a why, just for you and judge it to be magnificent.
How one defines their environment is how one defines themselves. No matter how much confidence one has, it is impossible for somebody to swim in the desert. As a person grows so must their definition of the world around them. Expecting good things from the future is prime for mental priming yet as much as presents are nice if you think you’re living in hell then after your birthday party you’re probably still expecting Satan to put pineapples horrible places they don’t belong not matter how good the cake was. But, if one sees the world as working with them and having a golden sense of luck and possibilities then they can take that cake and go build their castle. Allowing the fear of defensiveness to go unaddressed is how one casually creates a hell they believe in. You are currently constantly defining your world. Make a good place where you can work, embrace crazy over slavery and serfdom.
Escape is not the goal, true freedom is the goal here. Finding yourself in full capacity and being comfortable with that person means mental review and personal planning to such a degree that darkness and fear must be brought to dinner. In belittling oneself and question the ground you walk on can you then start to fly. Until one has control of their fears their perception is always only a word. The point is not to look deeper but aim farther, rocket-ships require understanding something more if you want to really fly.
