A person’s capacity for greatness and ability to choice properly is freeform and unhinged until they obsess on a point. This point can be greatness or defensiveness or any billion places between. But, we do have control over that. By no means is that fucking easy, but we do have control. The opportunist is the most clever traveler of these points. Never will there be a best path but there will always be chaos and a chance to miss a point for staring elsewhere. What is right around you may not be epic to achieve or the most delicious of fruits but more often it is the ripest. Finding a balance in not missing whats in front of a person is to their own call. I do suggest you always enjoy the chaos because missing out on whats yours and whats real is the closest thing a to a true sin I can devise.
We are what we create ourselves to be. As we defend a weakness that weakness becomes our center for thoughts, feelings, reactions, decisions, and direction. As we decide we are great does our actions push that forward, we search for evidence to fit that, we create reasons for it to be true, we create our own universe through either action. Determination then, is the key. So is it family and culture to found upon what we truly are worth? Since we are social creatures, and our nurturing assembles a functional and stable path to continue on. No, what we are is what we believe ourselves to be in that moment and if we want to define ourselves by a theme of many actions even then do we need a point of reference. That point of reference may be what is the self, too. All of this is arbitrary but all of this is free to decide. So I would say decide crazy and different and out of line. That allows you to be more free but still use what is in front of and behind you. Here though is found another of the same pain, yet its called being spastic. Using any of these strategies though creates the power to USE them instead of worrying and missing out. Remember there is no criteria until a person has accepted it. You are free because I just typed it and because you chose to believe me. Or not, if you chose otherwise.
The insanity of empathy is a cumbersome pineapple to swallow, gag reflex, masochist, humanist or otherwise. Philosophy has told us that there is zero way to completely know what another person is truly thinking. We can be functionally communicative, at times, yes. To be totally honest with trying to understand another and their experience though we must admit pretense. And honestly pretending isn’t that bad as long as you’re honest TO each other about doing it. Understanding someone else’s pain is impossible since we cannot be in their shoes at that moment and see the doubt and wonder while having the same goals and fear pixelated by time. However we can validate it within them and relate. Attempting to be truly empathetic to another creates a sort of madness. This can be love and beautiful or it can be ravenous and constantly destroy a person. Trying to fix another pain happens when one tries to understand it as is the role of the outsider with compassion. Balancing an act we can’t understand creates a whole new act of stupidity in itself. But loving someone for their insanity and damage is sublime. Accepting they have been hurt, wronged, lucky or destroyed and then wanting them for every little bit of them does more than simply validate their experience. It creates a treasure out of them. For the lover and the loved.
How a person finds themselves limited is how they define themselves in their story. We get to spin an event any way we want, and what we believe creates our next steps, perception, emotions about it, and overall, our reality. Byron Katie likes to say that pain comes from believing untrue thoughts. Bentino Massaro explains that this moment is perfect and the more we define it otherwise is how we create pain instead of bliss. Both of these are in the current new age bliss chasing movement. Pain is not something to not be worthy and anger and sadness are real and intense. My philosophy is that we do have a choice. Narrative theory explains that a person tells themselves a story about where and what they are. How your life happened to you is vastly variable because of how certain things were labeled, referenced, brought, up, packaged, judged etc. Recently I have learned a simple trick that is essential in successful cognitive behavior therapy. CBT says that our feelings affect our thoughts and our emotions and all at each other in a lovely, open fuckfest. At the center of these, so says CBT, is what we expect of the future, how we see ourselves, and what we expect and how we see others. True change comes from shifting those and controlling our thoughts, emotions, and behavior one at a time. The new trick I learned that relates CBT and narrative is that we can redefine how an event in our past defines our self. If a person lives always knowing their father molested them, there are a multitude of ways to respond to that but a person has one way. That story is malleable just as the future and the current is. A trick I came up with when I was 18 is a result of realizing that how you feel is a rising action of everything just focused on. Creating a new scene and getting viscerally into that creates a new momentum. This is where practical madness came from. Quantum jumping is a new age idea that you can go into any reality you want by believing it to be real and starting to behave the way the you in that reality would behave. While that has an excess of woo, there is a good value of sense in its active parts. You can change, you are in control if you want, its not easy but you are real.
In the end the existential truth is that its all made up. We are what we define ourselves as and we become what we seek. The story we act in long enough becomes the most true because we keep telling it. Entropy is the truest law until one decides to believe in another god, and then you have that. You can worship yourself or make something new. We are bound by nothing and tied to everything. How we spin our story to ourselves and assume the world sees us is what tells the truer story. Since we are IN this tale though, we will never know complete truth. That is the sin of existence, the fruit of knowledge we ate. It is delicious and goes great with a moderate amount of not giving a fuck.
With the apparent total freedom and pointlessness of it all in scope, I must implore you to feel more and love what you feel. Enjoy the chaos. As you can imagine a wonderful new or better done idea, the more can you take that story out of your head and push it onto reality. The universe includes you and your vote. The more you decide is the more you make, more thought and determination count as higher shares and interest thus the more will it move. Sharing this belief of your great version of yourself and a better world doesn’t happen with just words but in action, in you believing it for yourself. The truest and most valid realization is that you are the universe as you perceive it and so is everyone else. To say it in words is nice, but to say in your story, in your face, in your work with your passion is what write a fuller story. The more you believe and work then show that universe, the more it becomes the universe. Time and space, death and taxes, brain damage and cancer all have their dynamics and limits. But we are always expanding, we being here the universe. The more we can be creative and figure a way to love and design bigger better things then the more they will be created. We are both the observer and object, we play both roles at a time. Use your wishes wisely, they do count if you will them to count.
