I have suffered from this disorder my entire life. I want to share some of my story in the hopes that you may better understand the disorder that controls a big part of my actions, thoughts, and my life. I also hope that by understanding a little more about this disorder you will be better able to empathize with other people in your life that may suffer from OCD.

The change I made was my way of thinking. The thoughts you tell yourself form your own personal reality. If you wake up in the morning dreading the day ahead, and you think it’s going to suck and be miserable… guess what? It probably will be.

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I have spent many hours trying to rid my brain of unwanted thoughts. It is totally exhausting. The best way I can describe what having OCD is like is this…think about a horrible time in your life maybe you got fired from a job or someone you love passed away, and you feel extreme anxiety. Your chest hurts, you can’t sleep . . .

. . . only hearing nice things in life isn’t really being alive and that just being old isn’t any good without that alive part.

Your body felt different; we weren’t in sync anymore.

I was the spoon and you were the fork.

What did mine feel like?

Was it familiar or different?

Your arm rested heavy across my scars.